Once upon a time, I used to believe that I would only give birth to girls. I felt like my DNA was only wired to procreate girls. Back in my early twenties, my friends and I would host these weekly women meet up’s, as a means of inspiring, encouraging, and empowering women. So, it only seemed natural for me to assume that part of my destiny was to raise empowered women that would change a nation within my home.
Then I fell pregnant, and soon discovered that I was having a boy. I giggled because ; (a) I could and I couldn’t picture myself being a boy mom, (b) I knew this was going to be wild and so much fun. Fast track three years later, and I can’t picture being a mom of a little girl. (But who knows maybe one day that will change)
YOU KNOW YOU’RE A MOM OF A BOY WHEN…
- When you find yourself saying : ” Where are your socks? Why are you naked again? What’s that smell? Did you just fart? Don’t put that in your mouth! What’s in your mouth? Eeuw, that’s so gross! “
- When your son insists on having sword fights with you.
- When your son turns a hug into a wrestling match.
- When your son tells you that he has big muscles like Batman.
- When your son insists that you call him by his new name “Batman”
- When your son goes to bed holding his Ninja turtles lunch box.
- When everything is an action battle scene with sticks, swords, and water guns.
- When your son is just loud in general.
- When your son tugs on his “crown jewels”, and looks at it with admiration.
- When your son wants to build a tent fortress.
- When your son gravitates towards all things balls.
- When your son scratches his butt, and asks you to smell his fingers #truestory
- When your son wants to climb and jump off everything that he shouldn’t.
- When your heart breaks when they are sad.
- When their hugs and kisses melt your heart and make you forget about everything else.
- When they feel this natural instinctive need to protect you, their mommy from all “the bad monsters.”
- When your son leaves the toilet seat up and you sit down on it, or in my case when you fall into the toilet on numerous occasions (aaah!)
- When everything turns into a water fight.
- When you find rocks, old sweets, plastic guns, that one sock, pirate coins in your bag.
- When your son talks to you about his bowel movements – all. the. time.
- When your son not only eats his food, but starts nibbling on your food too.
- When your son knows how to charm you with their cuteness into doing something for them.
- When you feel *slightly* jealous when his class teacher tells you that he kissed a girl at school.
- When they only want your love, and snuggles whenever they are sick, hurt, or are feeling sad.
RAISING LITTLE SUPER HERO BOYS
I know that little Malakai is only three years old, so that does not make me an expert in this field. However, I do know the following to be true :
- Boys want to feel respected.
- Boys need to be affirmed.
- Boys need boundaries.
- Boys need adventures.
- Boys need to be allowed to feel emotions.
- Boys need dude time.
- Boys need to be outdoors and need to be more active.
- Boys need quality time.
- Boys need squisher hugs.
- Boys need to have a bit of rough play.
- Boys need to belly laugh until their cheeks pop!
- Boys need to have those tough conversations.
- Boys need to jump in big water puddles.
- Boys need to discover and raid things like Indiana Jones.
- Boys want to fix things, but in the process destroy things like MacGyver.
- Boys need to discover and find little bugs and worms.
- Boys need to see their moms showing love and respect towards the dads, and vice versa.
- Boys need to explore creative play, sports, role playing, arts and crafts, singing, dancing or in Malakai’s case = hip hop and twerking .etc
- Boys need to see their dads being soft, gentle, and romantic with their moms.
- Boys like feeling like they are strong physically , but need to feel empowered emotionally too.
- Sometimes, boys don’t always have the words to convey what they are feeling, and tend to feel overwhelmed and frustrated by what they feel. Therefore, we need to help give them the words, and help them to express what they are feeling, instead of dismissing it.
My love for Malakai continues to grow with each and every passing day. There are moments where I feel so overwhelmed by the love that we share that I can’t even put it into words. Some days he drives me completely insane, but those moments become a total blur whenever he holds me, kisses me and says “mommy I just love you.” It’s almost as if in those perfectly pure moments I feel like I am drowning in his love, almost as if nothing else matters.
That’s why I always feel this strong desire to always push through those tough days, and try to always offer him my best. Not my perfect best, rather my real authentic best. No matter what the day or season holds, if we always know to place value on loving each other, and making that love tangible, I know that we are all good.
A strong presence of unconditional love offers support, provides shelter, leaves others feeling safe and secure , it leads, it builds confidence, and it always points towards faith and hope. Pure unconditional love always wins and it is strengthened under fire. As parents, we tend to think that we should always be doing more, giving more, providing more, but we overlook what is most important : providing constant unconditional love.
Children won’t remember all the things that you did, or said ,or bought for them, they will always remember how you made them feel.