A few months ago I shared a post entitled Online Honesty Part 1 where I spoke about some online truths that I have encountered personally for myself or have observed in general. As the year has swiftly passed by I have found myself once again facing more online truths – insert Online Honesty – Part 2.
1 . ONLINE AFFIRMATION
Repeat after me : “We can’t find our confidence and sense of self worth and self esteem via online affirmation”.
Online affirmation being : new followers, constant comments from followers or readers, through to the the amount of likes, retweets, or online sharing of our creative content. It all gets very all consuming and addictive all too quickly.
Those seemingly little things become big things, and they end up eating away at us, to a point where it becomes unhealthy. Online affirmation is great, and it helps to affirm what we are doing. But we shouldn’t solely rely on that affirmation as the be all-end all. We need to feel affirmed and confident in who we are. We also need to acknowledge and own what we bring to the online platform and to the rest of the world.
Remember : Who we are, and what we do is exactly what the world needs. Therefore, focus on your race, focus on your personal goals and dreams, and enjoy the process, whilst celebrating others.
2 . ONLINE SUBTWEETING / SUBTEXTING
We see this all the time, and we too fall prey to it and sometimes, we get caught up in the heat of the moment, and we end up saying silly things indirectly but wanting a direct effect on others. Subtweeting (or any form of subtext-ing) is basically indirect passive aggressive communication. It may make you feel good in the moment, but that kind of behaviour won’t resolve anything and it won’t make you a better person.
People who subtext assume that others won’t get what they are doing or saying, or who they are aiming that status update or tweet at. BUT , trust me when I say we *all* get the message loudly and clearly. When readers and followers start picking up on this behaviour it actually becomes off putting, and people will withdraw from you. If you are feeling in the heat of the moment, and you find one of your social media apps open, rather put your phone down and walk away and wait to cool off.
Helpful Cass tip : Whenever I feel overly emotional, or frustrated and want to blurb out something that may sound a bit aggressive online, I press pause, read it again, and ask myself if what I am about to do or say will serve a greater purpose. When I realise that it won’t, I then delete the draft and keep on scrolling.
3 . ONLINE OBSESSION
Okay, so let’s just admit it : we are all a *little* bit obsessed with being online. We live in a fast developing tech age where everything is made possible by a click of a button. It’s so awesome, exciting, magical, enchanting and a little bit addictive….
MY PHONE & HAND HAVE MORPHED INTO ONE SYNDROME:
- First thing we do when we wake up : check our phones for messages or scroll through social media (like,like,happy face,sad face,post pic,delete pic,post new pic,refresh page….)
- During the day : scroll through social media, comment, like, share, post -REPEAT!
- Then at night : check phone, respond to messages, and update all social media statuses.
- Then fall asleep, and during the night when or if we wake up : check phone – just incase.
We are all a little bit obsessed, am I right? I know I am sometimes, I get lost on social media like Alice in Wonderland. That’s why to keep my mental sanity and self worth in tack, I take mini social media breaks. When I have mini social media detox’s I feel so much more relaxed, and more present. Being online all the time becomes an obsession and it’s a major distraction!
4 . ONLINE COMPETITING
I can guarentee that most of us at some point have had seasons where we found ourselves comparing or competing with other creatives and online influencers. It is one thing to feel inspired by another, but it’s another thing to replicate everything that they do, or not to celebrate with them in their achievements, because we secretely want to beat them or be better than them.
There is always a clear defined line when it comes to healthy competition and unhealthy competition. Healthy competition keeps a good sense of moral and encouragement towards others, it also inspires you to step up your game and it encourages you to be better creatively. Unhealthy competition leaves you feeling insecure, jealous of others victories and your main purpose is to out shine them and see them fail.
I think for me personally, I sometimes take online breaks as a means of gaining a bigger perspective and to make sure that my source of confidence and self worth always comes from the right place. If I start losing focus, or get caught up in the ‘social media game’, my soul suffers. I always want to be the same person online and off line. That means I need to be committed to the journey of nurturing myself (body, mind and heart) If I am not enjoying and loving what I am doing or creating, then what is the point?
Remember : Always keep perspective, and stay in tune with who you are and what you’re creating and curating online, and enjoy it – life is too short to make it complicated!
Side note : When I write these posts, my aim is to always encourage, empower, and to celebrate our authentic selves and what we bring to the online world. Whether you are a creative, designer, photographer, illustrator, writer, blogger , entrepreneur , or a major online influencer, I believe that these honest discussions will help all of us in some weight shape or form going forward.
Please feel free to add to this discussion, as I love to talk things through with others, and I love learning from others, so please share your thoughts below!