A few months ago I shared a post entitled Online Honesty Part 1 where I spoke about some online truths that I have encountered personally for myself or have observed in general. As the year has swiftly passed by I have found myself once again facing more online truths – insert Online Honesty – Part 2.


1 . ONLINE AFFIRMATION

Repeat after me :  “We can’t find our confidence and sense of self worth and self esteem via online affirmation”.

Online affirmation being : new followers, constant comments from followers or readers, through to the the amount of likes, retweets, or online sharing of our creative content. It all gets very all consuming and addictive all too quickly.

Those seemingly little things become big things, and they end up eating away at us, to a point where it becomes unhealthy. Online affirmation is great, and it helps to affirm what we are doing. But we shouldn’t solely rely on that affirmation as the be all-end all. We need to feel affirmed and confident in who we are. We also need to acknowledge and own what we bring to the online platform and to the rest of the world.

Remember : Who we are, and what we do is exactly what the world needs.  Therefore, focus on your race, focus on your personal goals and dreams, and enjoy the process, whilst celebrating others.Online etiquette

2 . ONLINE SUBTWEETING / SUBTEXTING

We see this all the time, and we too fall prey to it and sometimes, we get caught up in the heat of the moment, and we end up saying silly things indirectly but wanting a direct effect on others. Subtweeting (or any form of subtext-ing) is basically indirect passive aggressive communication. It may make you feel good in the moment, but that kind of behaviour won’t resolve anything and it won’t make you a better person.

People who subtext assume that others won’t get what they are doing or saying, or who they are aiming that status update or tweet at. BUT , trust me when I say we *all* get the message loudly and clearly. When readers and followers start picking up on this behaviour it actually becomes off putting, and people will withdraw from you. If you are feeling in the heat of the moment, and you find one of your social media apps open, rather put your phone down and walk away and wait to cool off.

Helpful Cass tip : Whenever I feel overly emotional, or frustrated and want to blurb out something that may sound a bit aggressive online, I press pause, read it again, and ask myself if what I am about to do or say will serve a greater purpose. When I realise that it won’t, I then delete the draft and keep on scrolling. 


3 . ONLINE OBSESSION

Okay, so let’s just admit it : we are all a *little* bit obsessed with being online. We live in a fast developing tech age where everything is made possible by a click of a button. It’s so awesome, exciting, magical, enchanting and a little bit addictive….

MY PHONE & HAND HAVE MORPHED INTO ONE SYNDROME:

  • First thing we do when we wake up : check our phones for messages or scroll through social media (like,like,happy face,sad face,post pic,delete pic,post new pic,refresh page….)
  • During the day :  scroll through social media, comment, like, share, post -REPEAT!
  • Then at night : check phone, respond to messages, and update all social media statuses.
  • Then fall asleep, and during the night when or if we wake up :  check phone – just incase.

We are all a little bit obsessed, am I right? I know I am sometimes, I get lost on social media like Alice in Wonderland. That’s why to keep my mental sanity and self worth in tack, I take mini social media breaks. When I have mini social media detox’s I feel so much more relaxed, and more present. Being online all the time becomes an obsession and it’s a major distraction!


4 . ONLINE COMPETITING

I can guarentee that most of us at some point have had seasons where we found ourselves comparing or competing with other creatives and online influencers. It is one thing to feel inspired by another, but it’s another thing to replicate everything that they do, or not to celebrate with them in their achievements, because we secretely want to beat them or be better than them.

There is always a clear defined line when it comes to healthy competition and unhealthy competition. Healthy competition keeps a good sense of moral and encouragement towards others, it also inspires you to step up your game and it encourages you to be better creatively. Unhealthy competition leaves you feeling insecure, jealous of others victories and your main purpose is to out shine them and see them fail.

I think for me personally, I sometimes take online breaks as a means of gaining a bigger perspective and to make sure that my source of confidence and self worth always comes from the right place. If I start losing focus, or get caught up in the ‘social media game’, my soul suffers. I always want to be the same person online and off line. That means I need to be committed to the journey of nurturing myself (body, mind and heart) If I am not enjoying and loving what I am doing or creating, then what is the point?

Remember : Always keep perspective, and stay in tune with who you are and what you’re creating and curating online, and enjoy it – life is too short to make it complicated! online honesty

Side note : When I write these posts, my aim is to always encourage, empower, and to celebrate our authentic selves and what we bring to the online world. Whether you are a creative, designer, photographer, illustrator, writer, blogger , entrepreneur , or a major online influencer, I believe that these honest discussions will help all of us in some weight shape or form going forward.

Please feel free to add to this discussion, as I love to talk things through with others, and I love learning from others, so please share your thoughts below!

5 Comments

  1. Chantelle December 6, 2016 at 5:48 am

    Thank you for this awesome post. I have been feeling personally overwhelmed with the rushed competition on online status and it is so great to just see it and read it from another perspective. Much love for you

    Reply
  2. Mandy Lee Miller December 6, 2016 at 6:34 am

    Cass, you are such an amazing human ❤️ And do you have to be THAT beautiful allllll the time?! Love you x

    Reply
  3. Noemi December 6, 2016 at 7:27 am

    True. True and true. I honestly wanted to write you a message weeks ago after your post about “being sick of trying to be perfect” because i think/thought/felt the same a few months ago. One of the main reasons why i deleted facebook. I only have instagram now and i never felt more independent and free and i don’t have the feeling to show someone how perfect my day or outfit is. I just life without showing everyone what i do and how i do it. I had situation where i really felt terrible. i cried and felt depressed because i wanted the beautiful and easy life my friends have or the celebs i follow on facebook and instagram. and now i feel relived.
    I am just really happy to read, that i am not alone. that i am not the only one who feels bad sometimes with being online all the time and the unsaid competitions people have on social media.
    You are right, life is good if you can do what you love, it doesn’t matter what other people think about your decisions on how life should be for you. It is important to find something that makes you happy.
    I guess i am still searching for my dream job or my sense of life.

    but i guess i have to find out myself what i would love to do. Without social media, facebook and instagram, just me and my imagination of my own perfect life here on earth.

    Thank you very much for honest posts and your courage to tell us, that life sometimes is shitty and not funny at all, that we have sorrows and that this is ok.

    life has always something ready for us that we don’t get bored. lets see what comes next 🙂

    xxx
    noemi from switzerland 🙂

    Reply
  4. Jonelle December 6, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    Absolutely love this post. Absolutely agree *cringes* I’m guilty of the middle of the night phone check!!

    You always look so beautiful ?

    Reply
  5. Olivia December 6, 2016 at 7:21 pm

    Check check and check again and then check just in case and then get a watch that taps me on the arm of someone pings – BUT wait – do I trust the dvi e on my arm? No. no I don’t. Check again. Battery dying. No! Ah – lucky I have a battery pack. Shoo.

    When you see me on Saturday – walk towards me and take my phone from my hand and then give it back immediately because someone may have asked me something.

    Big love mamma.

    Reply

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