For those of you who have been following the Online Honesty posts over here, and here , you will know that I touch on the fun and the not so fun side to living online. I share openly, and I pose some thoughts and questions, as a means of starting a conversation – in hopes that we can change up the online game, by being healthy influencers both online and offline.

I have been chewing and mulling over on the following thoughts :

  • COMPARISON
  • COMPETITION
  • CONFIDENCE

aka : The three C’s.

With being a blogger through to an online influencer, you will naturally somehow connect, or fall into a genre of sorts. For example I blog about creative lifestyle , along with parenting and inspirational posts. So, my following will mainly be women who relate to that. It’s the same with my blogging and online community that I fall into – similar niche, similar interests etc.

Now , don’t get me wrong I am not boxing myself or anyone else into a box or grouping. But, if we had to be honest: what we create content wise online will resonate with a certain target audience, and we will in turn then fall into a group of influencers that have similarities. If that makes sense? It makes sense in my head, but I am not sure if I am conveying it with clarity – lol.

With being in various blogger Facebook groups, through to having online friendships with fellow bloggers and influencers, sometimes “The three C’s” creep up, and cause a bit of internal emotional havoc that we don’t like to talk about or openly admit to, am I right?

Let’s get into it shall we, and take a closer look at THE THREE C’s. 


COMPARISON

In general we tend to fall into the habit (without realizing it or not) of comparing ourselves with others – from external looks, through to lifestyle, through to what we create. Online comparison could be the very thoughts and feelings of :

” is my creative content good enough compared to theirs? Am I producing good enough work – because compared to theirs – my work sucks! “

I have had moments where I have compared my online content with others, then I feel down about myself and about my work. Sounds silly, but how often does it happen to us?

The thing with comparison is that it lies to you about who you are, and who you have been called to be. Comparison steals from you creatively, as you start to second guess your work, and therefore, you pull back creatively.

Comparison in a nutshell = is a major distraction! Get off that train STAT!


COMPETITION

I don’t think a lot of online influencers and bloggers like to talk about this – because no one wants to admit to it. But…But….But… There is a clear difference when it comes to healthy competition VS. unhealthy competition.

Healthy competition : Someone inspires you creatively by their work, and it encourages you to stretch yourself creatively. You feel secure in your work, and you encourage others, and share the spotlight! 

Unhealthy competition : You want to compete, outdo, outshine somebody else creatively online. This kind of competitive spirit stems from a very insecure space.

If you are secure in yourself, you won’t find the need to compete with others at all. Instead you would focus on your race, and cheer others on in the process!


CONFIDENCE

Comparison and unhealthy competition stems from an insecure space within our hearts. When you don’t know, realise, or understand your sense of self worth, you will behave and respond accordingly.

Confidence comes from loving yourself (not in a vain, prideful way) flaws and all. It’s loving how unique you are, it’s understanding that your gifts and talents are special, it’s understanding that who you are is exactly what the world needs. Therefore, do not waste time second guessing yourself. Do not let insecurities and lies distract you from expressing yourself in all honesty.

I know I always say this (ha) but it is so good, and so helpful to always do an internal heart check when it comes to understanding the season of life we are in. It’s good and it’s powerful, as it sets us up for a long term win, it helps us to heal, to grow and to move forward as healthy individuals. I don’t know about you, but I am committed to growing (obviously not in height-because that shipped sail long ago-dynamite comes in small packages, am I right?) emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Let’s be healthy online influencers shall we?

Much love,

Mama Fox


FUNNY OUTTAKE SHOTS – BECAUSE YOLO

Anyone else struggle to pose for pictures? Or if you’re like me you get easily distracted and do weird things for pictures? Or, or, OR: you take a thousand pictures and only ONE picture of the thousand is OKAY-ish? Ha!

11 Comments

  1. Mari-Louise February 16, 2017 at 9:44 am

    Just read the entire series! Wow! How did I miss these. You are amazing and I love everything you wrote. I definitely look up to you as my healthy competition. You are amazing Cass! Ps: I’m the worst at photos, always laughing too much or looking awkward? You however… Nailing it, gorgeous! X

    Reply
    1. Cass Ferguson - Site Author February 19, 2017 at 9:19 am

      You my dear, are my inspiration! I love the way you encourage and inspire everyone online!

      You are full of love, grace, encouragement, and shine a light online!

      Photo posing is so hilarious – I can’t take it too seriously 😉 he he

      Reply
  2. Sharon February 16, 2017 at 9:49 am

    I loved this because it’s all true! I often allow myself to get down and feel insecure because I compare my work to others and come up lacking. Especially as I’m an older mom which really feeds into my insecurities of just never really being quite apart of, or good enough for, or whatever. You know what I mean.
    Three cheers for your honesty!

    Reply
    1. Cass Ferguson - Site Author February 19, 2017 at 9:17 am

      I think we all feel like that, but would never dare to confess.

      I think you are one of the most inspiring writers and online influencers that lead the charge with such authencity <3

      Thanks for being always be real , honest, and for challenging the norm with how you do things! <3

      Reply
  3. Jonelle February 16, 2017 at 10:52 am

    I love this so much Cass. Great points. It can be hard not to compare yourself to others but when you end up resentful because someone else’s middle is way more advanced that your beginning, no good comes from it. Also, it’s so valuable to build each other up instead of break each other day! AWESOME post! Xx

    Reply
    1. Cass Ferguson - Site Author February 19, 2017 at 9:14 am

      Totally agree Jonelle, we should rather focus on building our community by building one another <3

      Thanks for for all the love and encouragement x

      Reply
    1. Cass Ferguson - Site Author February 19, 2017 at 9:13 am

      Oh yay, thanks for stopping by gorgeous x

      Reply
  4. Carly February 18, 2017 at 6:04 am

    Loved this! I am so guilty of comparison at times. I look sideways and feel deflated about running my own race. At times it makes me want to stop.
    When I do consider stopping I usually remember that I don’t create to compete I create cause it’s in me to create, kinda like if I don’t I’ll explode.

    Still, I’m not sure why we do it. Thanks for the reminder 🙂

    Reply
    1. Cass Ferguson - Site Author February 19, 2017 at 9:12 am

      It’s so reassuring that we are not the only ones who think or feel these things. We are so similar at the core of it all <3

      We must just remind ourselves to "stay the course" and have fun whilst doing it of course <3

      Reply

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