In the greater scheme of things, in the bigger picture that is the constant: unfolding, curating and creating that is life: “Who cares what other people think of us?” I wished that I had gotten to that head space sooner with regards to not overthinking, overanalyzing and caring what other people may or may not think of me. It would have saved me so much time, energy, and emotion, if I had understood those sentiments.
But instead for MANY years I struggled with how people either perceived me through to accepting me. In general I have always grown up being known as the bubbly “Miss personality” girl, who could very easily morph in and out between multiple friendship groups and circles, which meant I would naturally interact with an array of different personalities.
Then there would be the odd person who didn’t like me, just because, no real reason at all – they just didn’t like me. I would feel completely gutted, because I only ever wanted to be friends with everyone, and truth be told I always wanted to feel like I was loved and accepted by others. Which in turn meant, I started seeking my confidence in being liked and accepted by whoever! So much so, that after being out in social settings, I would overanalyze and overthink silly thoughts in my head that went something like this :
“That person was a bit off, did I do something wrong? I think that person doesn’t like me, because they totally just shut me down! They totally just gave me the stank eye! Maybe they have something wrong with their eyes? They walked past me like I wasn’t even there, am I a ghost? Maybe I’m too silly or weird, or both? Or maybe they are cold and socially awkward! Maybe they are just rude?”
I think we all have moments where our insecurities breathe and fuel into our assumptions, which in turn causes us to overthink things that may not be; true, logical or factual. Or maybe they are true, maybe some people are just rude and insecure, and act weird towards you for NO reason at all and THAT’S OKAY.
I have had people treat me so weirdly over the years, without any real reason at all, and it used to drive me nuts, and cause me to doubt who I was. I wasted so much time trying to downplay who I was , or try very hard to befriend them, as a means of being liked and accepted by them.
Which is so silly, because I was wasting time trying to prove my worth to someone who wasn’t willing to see it to begin with.
I had this HUGE epiphany last year on understanding who I was, through to knowing and owning my natural strengths, talents and giftings, and living in a way that I was called to live. Which meant I had to *really* ask myself if I did certain things or behaved in a certain way that was purely aimed at pleasing others, through to feeling connected and liked by others, OR, was I doing things because I loved it and because it was an extension of who I was?
After all my job isn’t to make others love me, nor should it be to purely please every odd fart out there. I shouldn’t need to convince others that I am : worthy, valuable or lovable.
All I need to do is confidently celebrate ME with others, through the way I naturally show love towards others, make others laugh, express myself honestly and sincerely whether it’s quirky one moment or serious the next, I will do that, and be everything thing that God has called me to be in any given situation.
My aim is to please God, not man. That doesn’t mean that I will do reckless things and tag it as; “Well, I don’t care what people think!” It purely means that if my heart motives are pure, sincere, honest and true to who I am and who I have been called to be, then who is anyone to judge, criticize or hate on it?! If they choose to do so, well that is actually NOT my problem, and it’s not my problem to convince them otherwise.
Since having this epiphany there have been moments in social settings, where some girls have maybe given me the cold shoulder. Which would immediately make me think: “Did I do something wrong? They don’t like me? How can I fix this?”
I then gather myself and have a pep talk with myself and come to the conclusion that:
“Actually, no, I will not allow this to control my heart! I do not want my insecurities, fears or assumptions to feed into my weakness. Besides, who actually cares if they do or don’t like me?! I like me. God LOVES me, and my close friends and family love me, and that’s what truly counts!”
Whoever you are, just know and remember that who you are is enough. You do not need to convince anyone to love you or to see your worth. If they don’t choose to see it and celebrate it with you, then move on. Do not let waste time or energy feeding into insecurity and doubt. Break those habits by remembering who you are, and by celebrating it with the world. The right people will get it (you) and love it, and you will feel better for it <3
Pic images via Pinterest.